Often, in relationships, there are expectations that are never actually spoken, yet secretly hoped for. Expectations for your partner to be the way you imagine them to be, behave the way you want them to behave, and respond according to one's standards. At first glance, this seems natural, as part of the mutual adjustment process. But slowly, without realising it, that expectation can turn into a burden. The love that originally gave space, starts to shift into demands. And the relationship that was supposed to be a place to come home to, slowly feels like a space that must fulfil certain standards.
Great Song 7:6-8:4 presents a different picture of love. Not a love that is busy moulding its mate, but a love that dares to be present with honest longing. The woman says, “Mine is my beloved…”, a confession born not of force, but of trust. She does not lose herself, but consciously entrusts herself to the one she loves. Love in this passage does not move through demands, but through invitations: “Come, my beloved…” A simple, yet meaningful invitation. They walk into fields and gardens, enjoying the spring bloom: grapes blossom, pomegranates flower, and fragrance fills the air. All this is not just a setting, but an illustration that true love grows in a space large enough to breathe. It is not forced to bloom; it grows because there is freedom. Then the woman says, "There I will give my love to you!". What she kept and guarded, she finally gave, not because she had to, but because she wanted to. Love is not something that is taken, but something that is entrusted. It is not something that is controlled, but something that is shared. Here we are reminded that real love does not try to dominate, but learns to trust. It does not demand to be fulfilled, but gives room for growth. In this kind of relationship, one does not need to constantly prove oneself. He can be present as he is, without fear of judgement. Here love is not a burden, but a shelter.
Friends of the Bible, through this devotional we are invited to review the way we love. Are we really giving space, or unconsciously restricting? Does our presence bring warmth, or does it bring unconscious pressure? Ultimately, love does not grow in control, but in freedom. It is not born from the demand to be something, but from the courage to give oneself sincerely.
More deeply, the way we love actually reflects how we understand God's love. For God Himself loves in a self-giving way. He does not force people to love Him back, but opens up space for a free and loving response. His love does not oppress, but invites; it does not demand, but restores.
