There is a story from China about an old farmer who owned an old horse to work his fields. One day the horse ran away, disappearing into the mountains, and whilst all the farmer’s neighbours tried to console him and express their sympathy for the unfortunate old man, the farmer replied, “Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?”
A week later, the horse returned with a herd of wild horses from the mountains, and this time the neighbours congratulated the farmer on his good fortune. The old farmer replied, “Good fortune? Bad fortune? Who can say?”
Then, when the farmer’s son tried to tame one of the wild horses, he fell from the horse’s back and broke his leg. Everyone felt that this time the farmer’s luck was truly wretched. But the farmer did not see it that way. He said, “Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?”
A few weeks later, the army entered the village and conscripted all the young, able-bodied men they found there. They had to undergo compulsory military service and would be sent to the battlefield. It was then that the neighbours saw the farmer’s son, who had a broken leg, being exempted from the duty to fight. Was that good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?
The story above is taken from the book *The Song of the Bird* (Song of Bird), by Anthony de Mello. Who is Anthony de Mello?
Anthony de Mello, SJ—or, as he was more commonly known, Tony de Mello—was a Jesuit priest, psychotherapist, and author from India whose works have reached millions of readers worldwide. Through a unique approach, he blends Catholic theology, modern psychology, and the mystical wisdom of both the East and the West. In Indonesia, his books have sold thousands of copies and been reprinted numerous times. These include: The Frog’s Prayer (volumes 1 and 2), The Singing Bird, Awareness, A Moment of Wisdom, Sadhana and Seeking God in All Things.
Anthony de Mello was born on 4 September 1931 in Bombay (now Mumbai), India. He grew up in a devout Konkani Goan Catholic family. His calling to serve God became apparent from a young age. At the age of 16, de Mello decided to join the Society of Jesus (Jesuits) at Vinalaya Seminary, Bombay.
As part of his Jesuit formation, he was sent to Barcelona, Spain, in 1952 to study philosophy in depth. His peers remembered him during these early years as a very rigid figure, conservative in theological matters, and reluctant to engage in dialogue with other religious traditions. However, his openness to the outside world began to erode that rigidity. Upon his return to India, he continued his theological studies at De Nobili College, Pune, until he was finally ordained as a priest in March 1961.
Following his ordination, Fr. de Mello devoted his time to the education of future priests until he was appointed Rector of Vinalaya Seminary in 1968. His interest in the integration of mental health and spiritual development led him to establish the Institute of Pastoral Counselling in 1972 in Poona (which later developed into the Sadhana Institute of Pastoral Counselling).
Through the Sadhana Institute, de Mello trained priests, monks and laypeople in the the integration of modern psychotherapy and contemplative prayer. In 1978, he published his first legendary book, *Sadhana – A Way to God. In this book, he introduced “Christian prayer practices rooted in Eastern traditions”.
“One great lesson from the Incarnation is that God is found in ordinary things. Do you want to see God? Look at the face of the person next to you. Do you want to hear Him? Listen to a baby’s cry, the laughter at a party, or the wind rustling through the trees.”
So it is written in the book. This book has become one of the trailblazers who popularised the Eastern practices of mindfulness and contemplation amongst Western Christian communities.
In the 1980s, de Mello’s ministry expanded rapidly on an international scale. He has led numerous conferences and spiritual retreats in the United States, Latin America and Europe. His charisma lies in his ability to convey spiritual messages through humorous stories, parables and anecdotes.
In his retreats, he not only quoted St John of the Cross or St Ignatius of Loyola, but also integrated the thoughts of Sufi poets such as Rumi, the Hindu poet Kabir, the humorous tales of Nasreddin from the Islamic tradition, the life story of the Buddha, right through to the awareness techniques he learnt from the Vipassana meditation teacher, S.N. Goenka.
For de Mello, stories are the quickest bridge to the human heart. As he wrote in his collection: "The shortest distance between truth and humanity is a story."
Through simple stories, he dismantles the illusions, prejudices and rigid dogmas that often prevent people from experiencing the Divine presence in a tangible way.
For example, to critique statistical figures that are often misleading, De Mello, in The Frog’s Prayer 1, wrote the following short anecdote:
A group of one hundred loggers worked in the forest for six months. There were two women who worked washing clothes and cooking for them. At the end of the work period, two of the loggers married the two women. The local newspaper reported that two per cent of the men married one hundred per cent of the women.
The essence of Anthony de Mello’s spiritual message is encapsulated in the concepts of ‘Awareness’ (Mindfulness) and ‘Waking Up’ (Emerging from a Long Spiritual Slumber). For de Mello, the majority of people live their lives in a ‘sleeping’ state—controlled by suffering, mental projections and emotional attachments.
"Spirituality means being awake. Most people, without realising it, live in a state of sleep. They are born asleep, marry whilst asleep, raise their children whilst asleep, and die whilst asleep without ever truly waking up."
He emphasised that human suffering is not caused by external circumstances, but rather by our false beliefs and attachment to our own self-perception. De Mello often reminded us that our image of God is not God Himself. “Every word, every image used to describe God is more a distortion than a description,” he wrote in A Moment of Wisdom. Our concept of God can become the main obstacle to truly experiencing God.
In his book Sadhana , he emphasises that true love is only present when a person has freed themselves from dependence and the expectation of reciprocity from others. Love is not about possession, but about openness without fear.
On 2 June 1987, Anthony de Mello died suddenly of a heart attack in New York City at the age of 55. His body was found in his room, curled up. He was buried in Bombay. The funeral was led by his friend, Father Lisbert D’Souza, SJ.
To those who frequently question de Mello’s views, Father Lisbert D’Souza emphasises that, when understood in context, de Mello’s ideas are unproblematic and remain consistent with the tradition of the Ignatian Spiritual Exercises. At present, de Mello’s books remain freely available in various Catholic bookshops, with the note that the works were written within the context of interfaith dialogue religions.
Although his time on earth was cut short at a relatively young age, the legacy of Anthony de Mello, SJ’s thought continues to inspire. Hissuch as The Prayer of the Frog, The Singing Bird, Sadhana, Awareness, Called to Love, Seeking God in All Things, and A Moment of Wisdom have been translated into dozens of languages and continue to be reprinted to this day.
He is remembered not only as a clergyman or an accomplished speaker, but as a guide who invited everyone to open their eyes, free themselves from the shackles of illusion, and experience the beauty of life in the present moment together with the Creator.
De Mello writes that every believer ought to learn about and explore for themselves the faith in which they believe. For faith is not merely a matter of following and placing complete trust in the words of preachers and priests. Faith is a journey to discover and encounter Christ personally. Regarding the life of a Christian, in The Singing Bird de Mello wrote a story:
An interview between a recent convert to Christianity and a non-believing friend.
“So, have you repented and become a follower of Christ?”
“Yes.”
“In that case, you must know a great deal about Him. For example, in which country was He born?”
“I don’t know.”
“How old was he when he died?”
“I don’t know”
“How many times did He preach?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, for someone who claims to have repented and become a follower of Christ, you know very little.”
“You’re quite right. I’m ashamed that I know so little about Him. But at least I know this much: Three years ago I was an alcoholic. I was deeply in debt. My family was in shambles. My wife and children were always afraid whenever I came home. But now I’ve stopped drinking. My debts have been paid off. Our family is happy. The children look forward to me coming home every evening. All this is the work of Christ in my life. This is all I know about Christ.”
De Mello invites us to reflect on the meaning of knowing Christ; to know means: to be transformed by what one knows. The question is, have we been transformed by the One we know?
