In adulthood, the circle of friends often narrows down to just "coffee buddies." We meet at a café, talk about work, politics, or hobbies, and then leave without any real heartfelt conversations. This kind of interaction is commonly referred to as social grooming, conversations that are deliberate to maintain harmony in the community, but do not touch the depth of the relationship. We remain friendly, but often avoid honesty for fear of offence.

Today's proverbs offer a different picture of friendship. "Better is open rebuke than hidden love" (v. 5), and "A friend wounds with good intentions, but an enemy kisses excessively" (v. 6). Here, the wounding of a friend is not an act of hostility, but a sign of loyalty. A radical candour or courage to tell the truth out of concern, for the sake of good/growth. Without this kind of honesty, friendship easily turns into an echo chamber that only reflects praise. In addition, Proverbs also says, "Iron sharpens iron, a man sharpens his neighbour" (Proverbs 27:17). Iron does not become sharp by coming into contact with something soft, but rather through friction and splashing. Similarly, human character is often forged through honest conversations, differences of opinion, and the courage to rebuke each other with love.

Biblical friends, true friends are not just places to share lighthearted stories, but spaces where souls are honed. There is courage to speak the truth and humility to hear it. So once in a while we need to ask: are the friends around us just making us comfortable, or making us better?