Recently, the conversation about love language has been buzzing again, especially about words of affirmation. Some consider it important, even essential in a relationship. But there are also those who doubt it and think it's just an empty platitude. Shouldn't love be proven through actions, not just words? In the midst of the debate, there is one thing that is often missed, that humans basically long to be heard, seen, and validated through words. Because often, the way we see ourselves is shaped by the voices we hear over and over again. This is where Song of Songs 1:9-2:7 presents the face of love that is not only present, but also vocalised, and through that, helps one find themselves again.
In this text, love speaks softly yet powerfully. The lover praises, sees, and calls the beloved a beautiful and precious person. The compliment is not just a sweet phrase, but a restorative way of seeing. The woman responds with equally warm language, and a mutually affirming dialogue is established between them: seeing and being seen, knowing and being known. At this point, love becomes a space where one no longer hides, but dares to be present as oneself.
There is one interesting moment when the woman says: "I am the rose of Sharon, the lily of the valleys." Sharon is a plain filled with flowers. With this expression, it was as if she wanted to say that she was ordinary, nothing special, just like one flower among many in the valley. But his beloved's reply changes that whole perspective: “Like a lily among thistles, so is my sweetheart among maidens.” One sees herself as ordinary, the other sees her as precious amidst others. This is where we see that true love does not rush to judgement, but slowly reveals the beauty that is often hidden behind the way we see ourselves. In a healthy relationship, words become a clear mirror, not empty praise, but a way to see ourselves more fully.
Bible friends, love should not make us lose ourselves. In true love, differences become spaces to grow each other, not weaken each other. We learn to receive encouraging words with an open and thoughtful heart & not to be hastily suspicious or cynical of compliments, because there are times when even our souls need to be celebrated. At the same time, we are also called to not be stingy with our words, bringing words of life to others. For mature love is not just about being found, but also about being a place where others can find themselves.
